


todd brotzman can't do puzzles to save his life

by orioq



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 17:23:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13392639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orioq/pseuds/orioq
Summary: this is really bad haha but here's a generic coffee shop brotzly fic!





	todd brotzman can't do puzzles to save his life

"So… yesterday it was… Beyonce…. what’s your crappy fake name today?” Todd smiled, leaning forward on the counter. His chestnut brown eyes met the man’s caramel ones, and he grinned in reply.

“Well, since it’s Christmas Eve,” he made a wild, excited hand gesture, “today I’m Rudolph, nice to meet you!”

Todd snorted, rolling his sleeves up and pressing a few buttons on the drinks machine. “One cinnamon latte, coming right up, Rudolph.”

The man’s eyes widened. “How did you know that’s what I wanted?” he gasped and gave Todd a knowing look. “I bet the universe guided you, right?”

Todd glanced down at a piece of scrap paper that the man was holding, which read, in scruffy writing, “order cinnamon thingy!!!!! don’t forget this time >:(”

Todd smiled. “Just a hunch.”

The pair stood in silence for a while, before Todd - sensing that the drink was nearly ready - pulled a black sharpie out of his apron pocket. “Are you ever going to tell me your name?”

“One day, Todd Brotzman. One day.” He handed Todd the sheet of paper with his order written on, and told him to look at the back. “4|9|18|11|” was sloppily written onto it. He grinned before grabbing his drink and practically skipping out of the shop.

**a few hours later y'all**

“So… he gave you a piece of paper with numbers on it and you’ve been stressing about it ever since?” Amanda (Todd’s sister) questioned, setting her apron on the table.

“Pretty much. I mean, it IS confusing. You’ve gotta be confused, right?”

Amanda rolled her eyes and took the paper from him. She stared at it intensely for a fee moments, before scrawling down “DIRK”.

Todd’s eyebrows furrowed and his nose crumpled. “Huh?”

Amanda sighed. “Every number from 1 to 26 has a value in the alphabet. 1 is A, 2 is B and so on. It’s pretty simple, Todd.”

Todd sighed and Amanda rolled her eyes.

“I could’ve done that if you had given me time.”

“Hmm.”

**woo two days later**

“So, Rudolph, how was your Christmas?” Todd took a cup and a lid, smiling at seeing the man’s face again.

“A-maze-ing.” He sounded thrilled, and his strong accent was even more prominent than ever. “I found so many clues for a case I’m working on - I’m a detective, if you couldn’t tell, Todd - and I think I’ve nearly solved it. There are a few loose ends, but I’ll get to those when I’m meant to. How was yours?”

“Meh. I spent some time with my sister, but she’s sorta out of it.” He paused. “But hey, I have something that might put you in an even better mood… can I take your order please?”

Dirk smiled. “Hot chocolate, please. And, um, the names Gerard.”

Todd raised his eyebrows and stuck his bottom lip out. “Very MCR.”

Dirk looked confused, so Todd decided not to mention possible favourite bands from his (still not fully over) emo phase again. Instead, he turned around and poured the beverage, before putting the lid on the cup and scrawling “Dirk!!! Hey. Call me.” followed by his number.

“Ha! Dirk’s face lit up, his smile ear to ear and his eyes glistening. "You decoded it!”

“Yeah… Me… All by myself…” Todd thought of Amanda, but didn’t mention her. “It was really easy, by the way.”

“Well, I didn’t want to make it to hard… for all I knew, you could’ve been an absolute idiot.”

Todd smiled. He couldn’t help liking Dirk, even though he could be obnoxious. At least he was bright and smart and kind and pretty and– “I’ll see you at my next break, huh, Dirk?”

Dirk grinned. “It’s a date.”

**Author's Note:**

> hey uhh if you wanna follow my tumblr where I don't even write but sTILL it's called ffivedrinksantiago


End file.
